Wedding Etiquette Wednesday: Double Envelopes

To double-envelope or not to double-envelope. That is the question! We get this questions a lot from our brides and as we are becoming more green, we find that double envelopes are not as popular as they used to be. Read on:
This is a tradition that dates back to soon after the Industrial Revolution (ca. 1800) and the invention of lithography. Lithography is a printing process in which chemicals are used to accept and print ink, instead of the labor- and time-intensive processes of calligraphy or engraving which had been two popular methods before. Lithography was a cheap printing technique that allowed wedding invitation producers to market their products to the then-burgeoning middle class. Delivery of these newly-minted invitations would prove to be problematic, however, as the postal service of the time was still unreliable. Thus, two envelopes were used: an inner one, unsealed (for the sake of courtesy), and an outer one, addressed and used to protect the inner from the rigors of travel.


Elizabeth Post, in her etiquette book Emily Post On Weddings (1994, Harper-Collins, New York), elaborates:

The use of two envelopes is a tradition that probably goes back to when invitations where delivered by hand. For politeness the envelopes were left unsealed. Later, when mail services, began, the unsealed envelopes were inserted into larger ones that could be sealed. A practical reason for using two envelopes today is that the names of family members, escorts of your invited guests and children can be listed on the inner envelope.

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday: Etiquette Myths

The rules of etiquette at weddings can sometimes be a bit confusing. There are many good suggestions out there for proper wedding etiquette, but there is also a lot of bad advice. Etiquette expert Peggy Post gives her list of common etiquette myths on the Wedding Channel’s website and we have listed a few of them below….

• Myth- A bride and groom have one year to send out thank you notes.
• False! Thank you notes should be personal and sent out in a timely manner; usually two weeks after the honeymoon and never more than three months. Make writing thank you note a fun project for you and your spouse to do together.

• Myth- The bride’s family is required to pay for most of the wedding and reception expenses.
• False! Many couples today pay for their own wedding expenses. Both the bride and groom’s families can share expenses too. However you plan on financing your wedding it is important to create a budget and communicate about costs so that you avoid overspending.

• Myth- A bride should expect her bridesmaids to host a shower for her.
• False! Sometimes it is not possible, due to any number of reasons such as financial burden or location, for bridesmaids to host a bridal shower. Brides should never ask friends to host a shower.

• Myth- A couple does not need to send out save-the-dates to guests.
• True! Save-the-dates are helpful, but not necessary. It is a nice gesture to send save-the-dates if your ceremony falls on a holiday, requires guests to travel long distance or is at a popular destination that could get booked.

• Myth- It is best to send wedding invitations on either white or ecru paper.
• False! A couples invitations should be a reflection of their personal taste and the style of their wedding. White and ecru are traditional formal invitation colors, but are not the only type of invitations to send.
• cloud 9 Papers offers a great selection of stationery for your invitations. We even offer some great eco-friendly products!

Check out Peggy Post’s complete list here…

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday: Technology

We live in a connected world. Today even elementary school students have cell phones and are more than efficient at texting and Tweeting! Along your wedding planning process you have probably made use of a few pieces of technology that have made your life a lot easier. However, when it comes to the big day, being old fashioned regarding technology is a good idea. No one wants their vows interrupted by an obnoxious ring tone. Here are some tips for modern technology at the ceremony…

Cell Phones: Your guests will have them (probably glued to their finger tips). It is a good idea to remind your guests to turn off the phones during the ceremony. Etiquette guru Emily Post suggests including a friendly request on your invitation for phones to be shut off or placing signs at the guest sign-in table or the entrances to the venue. The most effective, but also most intrusive way, would be to have an announcement made prior to the ceremony.

For guests: Texting during the ceremony is a big NO! Wait until after the ceremony before pulling out your phones to text or check messages.

Other technology: MP3 players or iPods should be left in the car, but if you do bring it please make sure to have it turned off and put away during the ceremony. This should be obvious but you would be surprised!

Wedding Etiquette Wednesday

Everyone loves to receive something in the mail; there is just something about going to the mailbox and seeing a hand-addressed envelope waiting only for you.

So, after a shower, engagement or wedding gift has been received, the gift giver is just as excited to receive something in the mail...(drumroll)...the thank you note!

Ten Do’s and Don’ts of Thank You Notes, courtesy of etiquette guru Emily Post.

- Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.

- Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.

- Do be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Avoid saying a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen unless you really mean it.

- Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding web site in lieu of a personal note.

- Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts by sending a note right away or calling and following up with a written note in a day or two.

- Don’t mention that you plan to return a gift or that you are dissatisfied in any way.

- Don’t tailor your note to the perceived value of the gift; no one should receive a perfunctory note.

- Do refer to the way you will use a gift of money. Mentioning the amount is optional.

- Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.

- Don’t use being late as an excuse not to write. Even if you are still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing!